Interview: Heather Evans Smith on the creation of her project ‘Blue’ and its relation to depression
How did you begin this project?
In my early 40s, I started experiencing a sadness that intensified after my dad passed away. Looking back, there were clear signs that this had been going on for quite some time. I guess I had been ignoring it because it manifested as anxiety and physical symptoms. However, when my dad died, the sadness became overwhelming, and I knew I couldn't ignore it any longer. That's when I decided to create a series about this depression, specifically the depression that many women my age go through. I felt compelled to express this through imagery. It took a while to feel ready to shoot. It felt impossible to do when I was down in it. I took a step back from the project for a year and focused on addressing my depression through therapy and medication. Only then was I finally prepared to tackle it head-on.
How does mental health or wellness factor in your work?
My Blue series was the first series I created that was specifically about depression and the mental health of women my age. But as I reflect on it, I realize that all my series, in their own way, act as a form of therapy for me. I constantly explore relationships, loss, and delve into the past to gain a deeper understanding. By examining these issues, I truly believe it brings me peace and contributes to my overall well-being.
What is your process like?
I plan everything in advance. I set up small scenes around my house to bring my creative vision to life. Given that my work is focused on memories, I search for vintage items that I or my family members might have owned in the past. I gather rugs, wallpapers, clothing, housewares, and fabrics, and photograph in various locations in my home, mostly indoors. Some ideas linger in my mind for 6 months to a year before I'm ready to shoot. Others come together more spontaneously, with a few weeks or days of preparation.
Was the process of creating this project helpful for dealing with the emotion you’re describing in your images?
This body of work has been an incredibly cathartic experience for me. It was satisfying to finally let go of all these ideas based on these heavy moments. It felt like I could finally close that chapter in my life and move forward. However, I've also come to realize the importance of being in tune with my mind and body, and paying attention to the signals they send when similar feelings arise again.
What is your relationship to photography?
Photography is something that has become such an important part of my well being and expression. It started out as something fun to do on the side of my previous job as a graphic designer. However, my relationship with photography has deepened over time. The ability to capture and dissect emotions and memories through my camera has become an incredibly potent tool. It has opened up a new avenue for me to express myself in ways I never could before.
If readers would like to see more of your work, where can they do so?
You can find me on Instagram @heatherevanssmith or at my website www.HeatherEvansSmith.com
Thank you so much to Heather Evans Smith for taking the time to share her thoughts with Too Tired Project. All images used in this post are from her body of work titled ‘Blue’.